"Don't one of you fire until you see the whites of the landing lights!"

Last week on Independence Day at the "Salute to Me America" event on the National Mall, the president* proudly talked about the American Revolution, retelling the story of the great 1775 battle when, "Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do...."

You didn't know the Army took over the airports during the Revolution, didja? Yes. Yes it did.  View 45's remarks here.

....And then there was Twitter. There sprouted the hashtag to end all hashtags: #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories.

Here are some of my favorites. (Thanks also to my sister resisters Pagrs and BobBIE for some of the other memes)

“I perceive the necessity... the necessity for haste.” - George “Maverick” Washington #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/zVqMmvTSV3

— Ryan Chapline (@ryanchapline) July 5, 2019

Little known fact: An immense fog that rolled in off the Atlantic grounded all flights at Logan. Otherwise, Paul Revere would have been able to implement his original plan:#RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/Gg7T3EbMxC

— cosmo (@agpennypckr) July 5, 2019

George Jefferson. Who famously rammed the ramparts at the battle of LaGuardia International at Gettysburg. #4thofJuly #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/sourin13P5

— Liisa Lee 🦋 (@Liisabelle) July 5, 2019

We hold these truths to be self evident: that all seats must be returned to their original upright and locked position, and that your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories

— Cheeto Meltdown (@tomjuarez) July 5, 2019

“Give me Liberty, or give me a larger bag of peanuts.” - Patrick Henry #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/jB3cNglV2e

— Rick (@DidntSayRichard) July 5, 2019

This one brilliantly worked in the #unwantedivanka meme:

Ivanka discussing maintaining control of the airports w our founding fathers#RevolutionaryWarAirportStories#UninvitedIvanka pic.twitter.com/adrjkjATEI

— David Weiss (@WeissyDOT) July 5, 2019

That tea will be 6.99, credit card only. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/CHzLA1qpgw

— Mandy Kubik (@NDsweetheart) July 5, 2019

As the Red Coats advanced through the terminal, we knew our time was running short. Morale was depleted, boarding began in mere minutes. “Hold them at the Hudson [News]!” Washington commanded. The battle of Logan Intl had begun. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories

— Mark Riffenburg (@ItsJustMarkNV) July 5, 2019

Will my Emotional Support Animal require an extra seat? #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/ihgZ6A0Rca

— LionO*s_Jungle (@jungle_os) July 5, 2019

Attention Passengers:
Due to the recent government shutdown, our in-flight entertainment has been downgraded to two drummers and a fifer. Our flight attendants will be coming through the cabin shortly with a selection of hardtack and rum. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/kigvnQfxST

— Laura E. Hess (@LauraEHess2) July 5, 2019

#RevolutionaryWarAirportStories "One if by sea, Two if by land and Three if by AIR"

— M A K (@MAK7591) July 5, 2019

And finally: the real story.