Dictatorship 101

Sen. Susan Collins of Maine, who I am learning quickly to despise, said this:

"I believe that the president has learned from this case.... The president has been impeached — that's a pretty big lesson. I'm voting to acquit because I do not believe that the behavior alleged reaches the high bar in the Constitution for overturning an election and removing a duly elected president.... I believe he will be much more cautious in the future."

She's right. He's learned a lesson, and so have we all. By leaving a despot in power, the GOP is teaching a powerful set of lessons.

The lessons learned are contained in the new University of the United States course entitled:

"Dictatorship 101. No Reins: An Unfettered March Toward Authoritarianism." 

Unfortunately, we are all required to take this course. The lecturer is awful, but we must attend. The lecture hall holds 330,294,221, so take a seat. Be sure to bring water. It's a course that will last 37 weeks.


Dictatorship 101 Syllabus:

We'll explore the lessons learned when a presidential impeachment fails to remove a despot from power. We'll examine the recent, as well as the ongoing, ways that authoritarianism threatens to overturn 243 years of our Democratic Republic.

Lesson One: Overview: "When you are President you can do anything you want."  
We look at the ways an acquittal emboldens a dictator. 

Topic:

• Go ahead and say it: "I am the King."

Lesson Two: Using Foreign Interference in Influencing Elections.
We'll see how cowards in the Republican party shrug their shoulders when presented with overwhelming evidence of high crimes and misdemeanors. Constitution too thick for your paper shredder? We'll explore other ways to destroy it.

Topics:

• Congress says it's ok, so go ahead and ask your boyfriend Putie the Cutie to hack and propagandize
• Reinforcing a debunked theory: repeat the false Ukraine narrative enough and it becomes fact! 

Lesson Three: Witness Tampering and Intimidation.  
We'll explore the fine art of witness intimidation, from live-tweeting threats during witness testimony to soliciting surrogates to out whistleblowers.

Topics: 

• Retaliation works! Punishing patriots who tell the truth will send a message to other potential witnesses to keep their traps shut
• Targeting family members: using North Korea tactics can help you achieve dictatorship faster 
• Million dollar donors: Don't think you're safe. If you cross me, I'll fire you
• The threat of violence and its effectiveness in quashing insubordination

Lesson Four: Trashing the Rule of Law. 
The meat of the dictatorship: eliminating the rule of law. Learn how using a corrupt attorney general to act as your personal attorney while undermining dozens of ethical federal prosecutors. Learn to present alternative facts as well as the AG's art of plausible deniability.

Topics: 

• Politicizing the Department of Justice by strong-arming prosecutors to change sentencing recommendations for your friends
• Three years later: Revisiting the Michael Flynn case. Now I can get him out of jail free, too!
• Filtering the noise: Ignoring a chorus of alarm from 1,100 DOJ officials. What worked for Kavenaugh can work for the AG! 
• Overstepping ethical and legal boundaries: Proclaiming your "right to interfere" in criminal cases

Lesson Five: Undermining Checks and Balances by Stacking the Judiciary.
Part Two of Trashing the Rule of Law. We explore how putting sympathetic judges on the bench can help meet corrupt goals faster.

Topics:

• Confirming record numbers of federal judges with the help of a corrupt Senate Leader
•  Choosing a corrupt Supreme Court Justice: rewarding malfeasance and rape 
• Authoritarian governments' tricky relationship with the judiciary. Stacking the deck

Lesson Six: Undermining Checks and Balances by Intimidating Members of the Legislative Branch.
We examine how lies, bullying, and pandering to an uninformed, rabid base can keep Repugs in line. Learn how keeping one's Congressional seat defeats supporting and defending the Constitution of the United States in every case.

Topics: 

• Using Twitter to intimidate Members of Congress 
• Pandering to your base 
• Insulting those who have disagreed with you
• The ins and outs of propaganda: conspiring with Putie to control the narrative on social media
• Managing the ally/enemy balance: the art of faint praise vs. intimidation and bullying 

Lesson Seven: Part 1: Corruption Happens in Darkness.
We see how secret meetings and conversations can get around pesky do-gooders.

Topics:

• Stop letting others listen in to calls with foreign leaders
• Having 1:1 meetings with the world's enemy, V. Putin
• The benefits of confiscating interpreters' notes during meetings with other despots 

Lesson Eight: Part 2: Corruption is Deemed Acceptable if Done in the Sunlight.
We look at the converse: how proclaiming your crimes out loud can bring down suspicion that what you're doing is wrong.

Topics:

• If I do it in the open, no one will think it is wrong 
• Admitting your crimes: the GOP doesn't care!
• Going against your AG: 'fessing up 
• Using an apathetic electorate to your advantage. 

Lesson Nine: Distorting Reality.
The oldest and most effective method to destroy a nation. Lie, lie, lie.

Topics:

• Forcing your sycophants to repeatedly call impeachment "overturning an election and removing a duly elected president" makes it seem like there is truth to that duality of falsehoods 
• Using Twitter to disseminate misinformation quickly and easily 
• Vilifying the good guys: demonizing the free press 
• Facts are lies; lies are facts. Apply, rinse, repeat

Lesson Ten: Bribery Works!
We'll explore how continuing the facade of having wealth can help corrupt people and institutions.

Topics:

• Better elections through bribing black voters
• Greasing the palms of GOP senators can help your chances at being acquitted on impeachment charges

Lesson Eleven: Perverting the Military.
We'll visit the duality of proclaiming support of the military while simultaneously removing benefits and assistance.

Topics:

• Politicizing the military by pardoning war criminals  
• Punishing military prosecutors: criminalize those who are guided by rule of law
• Diminishing war injuries: if you can't see it, it doesn't exist

Lesson Twelve: Using Fear to Suppress Freedom of Thought.
The premier tool of a despot: incite fear in the people. We'll explore how fear drives conservative thought and ways to exploit it.

• Incite fear in a major speech to keep your minions in line
• Proclaim that you are their only salvation

Required Reading: The Constitution of the United States.

Final Exam will be on November 3, 2020. Attendance is mandatory! It will consist of one item.

Grab 'em by the ballot: Restore Our Three-Branch Government. VOTE BLUE!