Calling all feminists!
So the #MeToo movement rose up and women found their voices, voices that had been muffled for a long time, individually and collectively.
And Christine Blasey Ford found her voice, and though it terrified her, she contacted her Member of Congress when Brett Kavenaugh was on the short list of possible Supreme Court nominees, bringing the assault he committed against her to the light.
And as a defense, it was supposed that though the poor dear was assaulted, it was not our wonderful, privileged, brilliant, white, Yale grad Brett who did the assaulting. He was falsely accused!
And oh my gosh! We've got to fear for our sons and our grandsons! They may be falsely accused someday!
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| Drew Sheneman |
Let's get one thing straight. Brett was not falsely accused. He assaulted her on that summer night in 1982. He may not be lying when he said he didn't do it. He most likely does not remember doing it. He admittedly was a heavy drinker in high school and beyond to college, and probably beyond that. I don't have to remind my readers that heavy drinkers often do not remember things that happened while they were drunk. He doesn't remember assaulting her. It doesn't mean he didn't do it. She remembers it. He did it.
Republicans politicized the issue of false accusations. Suddenly they found a bit of what passes for "compassion for others" somewhere, maybe from their second toenail on their left foot, and they became very very worried about their husbands, fathers, sons, and grandsons.
People like Donny Jr, who is more worried more for his sons than his daughters.
People like my friend, who posted about this story and added the comment,"As the grandmother of 5 boys, stories like these scare the crap out of me."
People like 45, who said it is a "very scary time" for young men.
False accusations are not acceptable! But the statistics are clear. Only 2-10% of sexual assault accusations are false. Of the 90-98% that are true, only 1.9% of the perpetrators get jail time. So, even if the false reports go further than the report, the repercussions are still very very small that there will be any consequences. Those false reports also have little chance of being believed. That being said, it's never ever right to make a false report, of rape, of assault, or of ANYTHING. False reports cause harm.
So, are the people who are worried about their sons being falsely accused of sexual assault also worried about them being falsely accused of hit-and-run? How about non-sexual assault? Of theft? Of murder? If not, why not?
Are the people who are worried about their sons being falsely accused of sexual assault working to end false accusations by law enforcement? Or those falsely convicted? The Innocence Project estimates that between 2.3% and 5% of prisoners in the US are innocent. Are they outraged about those people sitting in jail?
Are the people who are worried about their sons being falsely accused of sexual assault working to end racial profiling and false accusations against black people? For eons, black people have had the police stop them or the police called to investigate them for nothing more than being black.
Here are just a few cases in the national media lately. This is a fraction of the everyday profiling (aka falsely accusing) that black people in America endure.
The Starbucks case: black men arrested for literally doing nothing.
Barbecuing while black: call the police.
The Harvard scholar arrested in his own home.
The black man shot in his own apartment by a white police officer.
The black man stopped by police just this week for babysitting while black.
It goes on and on and on. Every day. In every community across the United States.
Are the people who are worried about their sons being falsely accused of sexual assault also worried about these men?
No. Of course not. Because falsely accusing people of color is part of the fabric of our nation. Punishing people for being brown is normal. It doesn't threaten the white person's safety/freedom/wealth/well-being. In fact, these kind of false accusations help to keep white people advantaged.
I'm angry about this. Not only for the fact that this hand-wringing by Republicans, politicizing this minor men's issue, risks keeping women MORE muffled, but it spits in the face of the REAL falsely accused, people perfectly innocent of ANYTHING other than being brown.
So be quiet. And put your money where your mouth is. Donate to the Innocence Project, the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center, or another organization that works to fight against injustice. Teach your sons to be respectful of women and to surround themselves with good people, and they won't have to worry about being falsely accused of sexual assault.
***DEEP BREATH*** whew ....anger dissipating....
Now. Let's face it: there are false accusations of sexual assault. It happens and it's a bad thing. How big a concern is it really? Is this really the biggest issue that our brothers, fathers, uncles, sons, and grandsons face? When the President* puts this on the national stage, does it really do men justice? Really and truly? (Ok, so my anger may not be dissipating)
How can we support the men in our lives?
Firstly we can acknowledge that men face unique issues that are worthy of being addressed. One of them is false accusations of sexual assault, but it's one issue of many. False accusations are not the biggest issue that men face. Let's support men by acknowledging their difficult issues.
What about their own sexual abuse? Men are also unlikely to report sexual assault, for the very same reasons --maybe even to the nth degree--that women are. And this analysis shows that men are more likely to be raped than to be falsely accused of committing rape.
Men have great deal of pressure to live up to the masculinity that society expects of them, and this pressure can lead to anxiety, depression, and violence.
Men are falling behind in education. More women than men are enrolling in and graduating from college.
Men have a lower life expectancy than women.
Fathers tend to have a role as second-fiddle in parenting, facing workplace inequalities in parental leave and facing custody battles.
Men often face mental health issues with regard to sexual orientation and gender identity.
Men are more likely to have violence in their lives, from getting in fights, to joining gangs, to going go war, to committing and being victimized by violent crime.
and many other issues.
If we want to support the men in our lives, and bring men's issues to the forefront of the National Conversation, false accusation of rape is really pretty far down the list.
The #MeToo movement is not a War on Men. Men aren't the enemy. Within the parameters of the #MeToo movement, they are not victims, unless they too were sexually assaulted. And then we shall listen to them when they also say, "Me too."
What Republicans are really afraid of is not being falsely accused, but of being held accountable for their actions and for having women and minorities gain power.
Human rights conversations should include men's issues. We need to support and lift up all of our fellow Earth Travelers. We all need to have compassion for each one of us. One of the biggest ways to support the equality and full humanity of women and men? Vote the party of Compassion. Vote Blue. Vote Democrat.
Resist. Gain power. Vote on November 6.
So well written! Loved it! There are real pressures men face, and that can lead to serious problems worth fighting.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading, Susanna!
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