I'm a little late to the party. I wanted to write earlier than this about Michael Cohen's testimony on Wednesday, but life happens. Work, dancing, lectures, traveling!
Michael Cohen, Don the Con's former personal lawyer and "fixer" of 10 years, met with the House Oversight Committee on Wednesday, February 27. Americans from coast to coast were glued to their computers, TVs, and radios, including yours truly.
I was lucky enough to watch the first two-plus hours at home, then listened intermittently in the car the rest of the day. Darn work!
Here is the full hearing:
I couldn't find the transcript of the entire hearing, but here is the transcript of his opening statement. Here is the transcript of Rep. Cummings's closing statement, which you can watch below. It is a powerful moment.
These were a few of my extemporaneous notes while I watched: "Screeching Repubs" — "Not letting him answer" — "crapping their pants" — "sarcastic - Gosar" —"No questions- just shrieking" — "ask a question and don't wait for answer"
The Michael Cohen saga, at least how it relates to our current situation, started in April 2018, when the FBI raided his office, home, and hotel room and took boxes and boxes of evidence and phones — over three million files — after a referral from Robert Mueller to the Southern District of New York. It was reported at first that evidence concerning the Access Hollywood tape was being sought, along with documents concerning the Stephanie Cliffords (aka Stormy Daniels) pay-off. After the raid, Cohen described the FBI agents as being quite polite and courteous and that he thanked them at the end. It was at that moment that I thought, "Huh. Maybe his calm demeanor means something...." It was soon obvious to me that he felt a sense of relief.
Soon after, Cohen was indicted and he plead guilty to eight counts, including tax fraud, bank fraud, and campaign finance violations.
He was asked to come before Congress to testify, and the hearing had to be postponed a couple times. In January he asked to postpone because his former boss — the President* of the United States — threatened his family with this tweet:
Kevin Corke, @FoxNews “Don’t forget, Michael Cohen has already been convicted of perjury and fraud, and as recently as this week, the Wall Street Journal has suggested that he may have stolen tens of thousands of dollars....” Lying to reduce his jail time! Watch father-in-law!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2019
And he also called Cohen a "rat."
Remember: "rat" is a mafia term. I've described his Don Scrotolone tendencies in a post in June, 2017. Don't forget, "rat" means "flipping" — revealing the truth about crimes. "Rat" is most definitely not the same as "liar."
Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) continued the mafioso style when he attempted to intimidate Cohen with this tweet, right before the hearing:
Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful when you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot…This tweet put Gaetz in the sights of the Florida Bar Association, and he may be in big trouble. Here's a really good article from Vanity Fair outlining the Gaetz situation, on its own and as a piece of the bigger puzzle that is Trump World.
Finally, last week, Michael Cohen came to Congress to testify to the House Oversight Committee, chaired by Rep. Elijiah Cummings (D-MD).
I'm learning more and more about our government as these dangerous times unfold. And more and more I am grateful for the Founding Fathers for putting powerful checks and balances in place. I ❤ the U.S. House of Representatives. Thank you, Founding Fathers (albeit for this particular committee, the fathers of the early 1800s)! If you are like me and didn't know much about the House Committee on Oversight and Reform, you can learn about it on Wikipedia or the official website here. It's a powerful committee, and one we need right now.
Cohen came before Congress with his hang-dog look perfected. Given that he plead guilty to eight counts, continues to cooperate with the Southern District of New York, is reporting to prison in a couple months, and came before Congress voluntarily, I believe his motives now are genuine: to reveal the truth and to change the road he's on.
We know he is a shady guy. He has lied over and over on behalf of his wretched boss. He lied to benefit himself, as well, in taxes and loans. He has not been a model citizen. But I think he is now contrite, wants to own his mistakes, and move forward in his life. We've all been there. Maybe not to this extent, but we've all been there.
So, the testimony.
He REAMED Dirty Don. The testimony was brutal and explosive. He laid it all out in plain language. Benedict Donald is a liar, a conman, and a cheat.
But we knew that.
Some notable moments during the hearing:
• The absolute shriekiness of Ranking Member Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH). Such a picture-perfect defender of Captain Chaos. Jordan's whole demeanor, body language, tone, words: a bursting boil of "Mrs. Putin" pus. Positively.
• The one-note "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" line of "questioning" by the right. Really, Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ)? Putting up a meme in the hallowed halls of Congress? Grow up, man!
• The shameful use of a black woman, Whitewash House staffer Lynne Patton, to somehow defend against The Fanta Fascist's raging racism. And later, Rep. Rashida Tlaib's (D-MI) repudiation of Rep. Mark Meadows's (R-NC) act, calling the stunt racist in itself. Fireworks flew there for a few moments toward the end of the hearing. See the emotional video below:
She may have back-pedaled outright calling Meadows "racist," but I'm not. He's racist. Another of his public racist acts was saying, that Obama should be sent "back to Kenya."
It is astounding that racists continue to use the "some of my best friends are black" trope to absolve themselves of their racism. Just look yourself in the mirror, white people. Recognize your privilege, recognize your bias, recognize that you can do better. And do it. Stop trotting out your friends of color to somehow distance yourself from yourself!!
• The explosive proof that not only did Two-Pump Trump know about the Stephanie Cliffords's pay-off, he reimbursed Cohen via check.
• Cohen calling out Republicans: "I did the same thing that you're doing now for 10 years. I protected Mr. Trump for 10 years....I can only warn people, the more people that follow Mr. Trump as I did blindly are going to suffer the same consequences that I’m suffering." Video here.
• Cohen naming names. The names and deeds of Allen Weisselberg, Ron Lieberman, Matthew Calamari, David Pecker, Dylan Howard, Barry Levine, and Russian mobster Felix Slater. Little Sister Resister is popping up some popcorn for the next round of hearings!
• The fact that the Republicans did not ask any questions. Cohen called them out on that too, saying:
I just find it interesting, sir, that between yourself and your colleagues that not one question so far since I’m here has been asked about President Trump. That’s actually why I thought I was coming today—not to confess the mistakes that I’ve made. I've already done that. And I’ll do it again, every time you ask me about taxes or mistakes. Yes, I made my mistakes. I’ll say it now again. I'm going to pay the ultimate price … The American people don’t care about my taxes. They want to know what it is that I know about Mr. Trump. Not one question so far has been asked about Mr. Trump.They were woefully unprepared. Shamefully so.
• In fact, Rep. Clay Higgins (R-LA) was so unprepared he didn't even know who Michael Cohen was before that day and didn't realize that the "boxes of documents" Cohen referred to were seized by the feds almost a year ago. Idiot! These are our leaders?!
• The Republicans' concern for a potential book deal. Why?? Is that illegal? No. Is it unethical? No. Hell, he should write a book! I would! And I'll definitely read his!
• The confirmation that Forrest Trump never expected to win, and didn't really want to be prez, and that the campaign would be "the greatest infomercial in political history." It's obvious that he wanted to WIN though. Winning is everything.
• The fact that Cohen was directed to threaten Twitiot's schools not to release grades or SAT scores. Got something to hide, Donny Boy?
• And in the final minutes of the hearing, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) elegantly used her five minutes to ask a set of laser-sharp questions that did more to open up more questions about Trump and his nefarious tax habits than the previous 7 hours. Thank you, Bronx citizens, for gifting us this crackerjack lawmaker.
In a personal aside, it was really cool texting with my son and my Sister Resister Karen in real time about the hearing, including the moment between Meadows and Tlaib.
As usual, our satirists give us perhaps the most adroit analyses:
The Onion:
Offended Mark Meadows Reminds Colleagues He Never Once Complained About Capitol’s Integrated Drinking Fountains
Seth Meyers in his Closer Look:
...and last night's Saturday Night Live. Nailed it. ...Especially Kyle Mooney's impersonation of Rep. Gosar. Gotta laugh!
Our resistance — our votes — placed the Democrats in the House, and our resistance is pushing them to use their power on our behalf. We ourselves, as a nation, are on a better road. Keep it up, Brother and Sister Resisters! Keep it up!
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